A Maze of Post-College Musings

“You must think well of yourself. You must see yourself as worth celebrating, worth loving, worth having.” ~ Angelina Talpa

   Life is a constant struggle. Anyone who tells you that its easy, either could be lying or hasn’t faced the struggle. However, to see it in a simple light instead of a complicated one is a definite possibility.  For all of you who know me, you’ll know I’m still on my very long hike to achieving that. 🙂 *readers nod their heads in agreement*

   As children we fail to see the struggles because firstly, we’re too busy enjoying the simple delights in life, and secondly, one of our largest concerns is not being able to stay up late like the “adults”. However post-college, wherein you’re “all grown-up”, comes the feeling of missing your friends and realising that the delightful times of college life have come to an end. Gone is the excitement of bunking classes and long conversations at the canteen… And at that time who would have thought we would miss it so much? For those who have I have spoken to about their jobs, it’s basically a sudden shift from college to work, whereby you’ve got to face the humdrum pattern of a 9-5 desk job.

   Finding a job, sorting out your career; do you do Master’s now or later? Where’s the time for that college romance that seemed so easy to handle during university? How do you combine everything with your attempt to settle down, so that you can make something of yourself in this challenging quest for success? What is success? Is it how much you earn?  Is it your level of job satisfaction? Or does it have to do with your family life?

   Another truth behind that is thanks to technology, as there will be that one person you don’t like, who has their life showcased on the glamorous stage known as Facebook, with the reality possibly hidden behind the scenes. However this, as is a tendency for human nature, becomes discouraging for a confused soul-seeking individual, with their endeavours to find meaning to their identity. Not that this can be found on Facebook of course. 🙂 Furthermore, if you’re an Indian girl (such as the writer herself, and because I had to mention this *sighs*), there’s the added pressure once you hit 22-23 of marriage slowly seeping in by whispers of the extended family.

   Basically, life slams at you with a log, and the famous saying “When life gives you lemons make lemonade” is not so easy to follow. Because life will most likely give you the lemons, and you won’t know how to creatively make lemonade.

   For those of you who genuinely do want to make some simple lemonade though, I can provide a recipe. 🙂

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   In a recent discussion with a dear but insecure friend of mine, I was listening to their everyday stresses of life. For the purpose of providing them food for thought, I asked them the following 5 questions:

  • Why do I feel like I’m a burden?
  • Why do I think I am not allowed to look after myself?
  • Why do I believe I am not beautiful, on the inside and the outside?
  • Why do I believe I am not allowed to be happy?
  • Why do I believe I don’t deserve the best?

   To all my avid readers, I implore you to think about this to yourself. Take a piece of paper, write down the questions, and take 5 minutes out of your day to self-reflect on this to yourself. I have heard so many situations where my dear friends have come to me believing they’re not worthy of the best. Where does this insecurity come from? Why is it that individuals go through this notion that they don’t have the right to be happy? A fundamental right provided to us – and yet somehow taken away (or given away?). It’s not healthy, it’s not moral, and no virtuous human being should be feeling what I’d mentioned as implications of the above questions.

NB: On this note though – I do believe that you can’t constantly be happy. It’s about being content with the day-to-day little delights. But that’s a discussion for another day. 🙂

   I recently started to meditate in order to stop over thinking these everyday struggles. I was surprised to find that even if you’re distracted by troubling thoughts whilst you’re in your trance, the post-reverie moment does provide a lighter feeling on a subconscious level. So you could try it. For 10-20 minutes everyday, allow yourself to breathe, let go of past troubles, and focus on yourself and what’s important to you. There is little use in using the phrase “You Only Live Once”, if you don’t intend to make the most out of it. Because truly, you only do live once. I for one don’t believe in reincarnation, and don’t wish to believe in it only to find out after death that “Hey, what’s this? Don’t I get a second chance in life?!” The irony of that would be humorous. 🙂

   Also, a friend once gave me an empty decorated jar to fill with my memories – and called it the “Memory Jar”. It always gives me such joy to open it up and find old things I kept stored because it made me smile at one point in life. Maybe that’s an idea too!

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   In short, my focus was spinning around the maze of ideas pondering in my own mind about people who are bemused soul-seekers trying to find importance in their individuality.  For those of you out there going through a tough time, I hope that things get better. Also, believe, and have faith, that there’s more to life than “just enough”. Life shouldn’t always be “just enough”, and how to do that, is up to the individual to decide.